Patient: How much will it cost me to have this tooth pulled out?

Dentist: £500 Patient: £500 for just a few minutes work? That’s hardly cheap.

Dentist: No worries, I’ll pull it out slowly if you prefer.

Dentist begging the patient: Could you help me, please?

Scream as loud and painfully as you possibly can?
Patient: Umm, why? It’s not hurt me this time.

Dentist: Because there are tonnes of patients in the waiting room right now and I don’t want to miss the cup final at 3!

Dentist: Do you floss?

Patient: Religiously

Dentist: Really?

Patient: Of course. Christmas & Easter!

Patient: What did you do before you became a dentist?

Dentist: I was in the Army.

Patient: What did you do in the Army?

Dentist: I was a drill sergeant.

Johnny was sitting in the waiting room after getting his tooth extracted.

The receptionist asked him how he was feeling. “I’m okay” he said, “but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used during the extraction.” “What did he say?”, asked the nurse, alarmed. “Oops!”, replied Johnny.

A man coughed violently, and his false teeth shot across the room and smashed against the wall.

“Oh, dear,” he said, “whatever shall I do? I can’t afford a new set.”
“Don’t worry,” said his friend. “I’ll get a pair from my brother for you.”

The next day the friend came back with the teeth, which fitted perfectly.

“This is wonderful,” said the man. “Your brother must be a very good dentist.”

“Oh, he’s not a dentist,” replied the friend, “he’s an undertaker.”

Josh: Why did the king go to the dentist?

Scott: Beats me.
Josh: To get his teeth crowned!

While I was waiting to see the dentist, a woman came out of his inner office smiling.

Nodding to me, she said, “Thank goodness my work is completed. I’m so glad to have found a painless dentist and one who’s so gentle and understanding too.” When seated in the dentist chair, I related the incident to the doctor. He laughed and explained, “Oh, that was just my Mother.”

Young girl: “Daddy, when I grow up shall I become a heart-doctor or a tooth-doctor “

“Dentist”

“Why father?”

“We have only one heart, but 32 teeth!”

Patient to Dentist: “How much to get my teeth straightened?”

“Twenty thousand pounds” says the Dentist. The Patient heads for the door.

Dentist to patient: “Where are you going?”

“To a plastic surgeon to get my mouth bent.”