What did one Angel say to the other?

Halo there!

What type of key do you need for a Nativity play?

A don-key!

How did Mary & Joseph know how much Jesus weighted when he was born?

There was a weight in a manger!

Why don’t penguins fly?

Because they’re not tall enough to be pilots!

What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?

A cookie sheet!

What do sheep say at Christmas?

Wool-tide Bleatings! or A Merry Christmas to Ewe!

What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

What athlete is warmest in winter?

A long jumper!

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

Tinsilitis!

What is the worst disease that you get at Christmas?

Excemas!

What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ‘ribbet ribbet’?

A Mistle-toad!

What’s the most popular Christmas wine?

‘I don’t like Brussels sprouts!’

Why do ghosts live in the fridge?

Because it’s cool!