What did one boat say to the other boat?

Are you interested in a little row-mance?

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?
Olive. Olive, who?
Olive you, and I don’t care who knows it.

What is the difference between a sofa and a boyfriend watching Monday Night Football?

The sofa doesn’t keep asking for beer.

A T-Rex told his girlfriend, “I love you this much,” as he stretched out his arms.

To which the girlfriend replied, “That’s not very much at all!”

What’s the difference between bleach and fabric softener?

My ex-boyfriend now knows the answer.

I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile.

And then walk into a pole.

What’s the difference between a woman and a microwave?

A guy will press all the buttons on the microwave to get it heated.

You: Knock, knock!

Him: Who’s there?
You: Ya.
Him: Ya who?
You: Aww, I love it when you’re this excited to see me!

You: I don’t think we can go in here.

Him: Why not?
You: Look at that sign! point to the no-smoking sign They won’t let you and your smoking hot bod in!

One day, a boyfriend came home and was greeted by his girlfriend.

Dressed in sexy lingerie, she purred, “Tie me up and do whatever you want.”
So he tied her up and went golfing.