He who hesitates, masturbates. Dry land is not a myth. I’ve seen it. Kevin Costner. Waterworld. I don’t know what the big fuss is about. I saw that movie nine times. It rules! My teacher…

1. Don’t argue! You cannot win, you cannot beat a woman in a argument. It’s impossible you will not win. Cause men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need…

Shirt Not Big Enough And he was offended at my show. Not by anything that I said, but because of the fact that now at the shows I started selling T-shirts and apparently, I didn’t…

1. “There’s nothing worse than telling a dumb-ass lie and getting caught telling a dumb-ass lie….I’m in my car, I’m driving. My boy calls me, I pick up. ‘Yo, Kevin, what up?’ Instantly I lie….

1. “I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for those who like country music, denigrate means to ‘put down.’” -Bob Newhart on Country Music 2. “Do you…

A guy was watching the news and realized a famous celebrity had died. He called a friend to share the news. Jim: Did you hear that Reece Whats-her-Name died? She choked to death while eating…