Did you hear about the wooden tractor?

It had wooden wheels, wooden engine, wooden transmission and wooden work.

What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer?

You take me for grunted.

How did the farmer find his lost cow?

He tractor down.

Why did the farmer call his pig “Ink”?

Because it was always running out of the pen.

What did the farmer get when he crossed an owl with a goat?

A ‘Hootinanny.’

Grain farmers have a tough life.

They barley survive from wheat to wheat.

 As a farmer, I hear lots of jokes about sheep.

I’d tell them to my dog but he’d herd them all.

Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm?

Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.

Why can’t the bankrupt farmer complain?

Because he’s got no beef.

What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he is milking cows?

Udder nonsense.