If you’re thinking of jokes that will make your grandparents laugh, we got you. These hilarious, yet clean jokes are sure to make them laugh.

 Too Many Figurines

A young girl watched her grandmother move several duck figurines from the bottom shelf to the middle shelf of a cabinet. The grandmother picked up one of the ducks and then set it down on the middle shelf. She picked up another duck figurine from the bottom shelf and set it beside the first duck. She continued moving the ducks from one shelf to the next.

Finally, she stood back and looked at the cabinet.

“Hmm…” She moved back to the cabinet and began moving the ducks onto the top shelf.

“Grandma,” the little girl finally spoke, “what are you doing?”

“I’m just trying to get my ducks in a row,” the grandmother answered. -Sally Painter

Chickens and Eggs

The elderly grandma always talked to the hens whenever she fed them.

One day, her grandson asked, “Grandma, why do you talk to the chickens?”

“I’m just trying to egg them on.” -Sally Painter

It’s about Time

The elderly congregation was perplexed when the preacher pulled out a pocket watch and threw it to the end of the room. It slammed into wall and fell to floor in pieces, but the watch kept ticking.

“What does this demonstration tell you about life?” The preacher challenged the congregation.

A man in the back slowly stood up, leaning on his cane. He stared down at the ticking clock.

“Well, preacher, I suspect this watch shows that time flies and stops for no one.” -Sally Painter

 Holy Water

The old exorcist priest frowned at his apprentice.

“Are you sure this is Holy Water?” he asked as they were packing for the exorcism.

“Oh yes, Father, I made it myself,” the younger priest said.

“How did you make it holy?” the elderly priest asked, curious if his trainee had followed the proper procedure.

“Well, Father, I collected the water just as you instructed, said a prayer over it as you instructed, and finally, I boiled the hell out of it!” – Sally Painter

Cellphone at the Driver’s License Bureau

Fred found himself in a long line at the driver’s license bureau and moved to stand in the shorter line. He turned around to see an elderly woman just standing in between the two lines and not moving to get in either one. He watched as she pulled out her cellphone and began reading the news. He was confused why she was just standing there reading between the lines. -Sally Painter

Food Memory

An elderly couple is worried that they are starting to forget simple things, so they go to a doctor for a checkup.

The doctor looks them over top to bottom but doesn’t find anything.
“It seems you two are perfectly fine so all that I can suggest is anytime you want to remember something, simply write it down”.

The couple believe that’s a great idea and so they go home with renewed confidence.

Later that evening, the couple are watching television and he decides to grab a drink.

“Need anything my dear” he asks?

“Could you grab me some ice cream. Here write it down” she tells him.

“No need my dear, ice cream coming up”!

“Oh, and some chocolate sauce please. Want to write it down”?

“Ice cream with chocolate sauce, got it”.

“And a cherry dear” she asks “sure you don’t want to write it down”?

“Ice cream with chocolate sauce and a cherry. I’ve got it, Hun”.

The elderly man is gone for 10 minutes and the woman begins to worry. He comes back with scrambled eggs, bacon and orange juice. The woman looks at the food and says

“Oh dear, you forgot the toast”! –Anonymous