A guy was watching the news and realized a famous celebrity had died. He called a friend to share the news.

Jim: Did you hear that Reece Whats-her-Name died? She choked to death while eating soup…

Joe: Oh no! Witherspoon??

Jim: Yes, of course.

Celebrity Race-car Driver Lewis Hamilton Walk into a country golf club in England

He sees the woman on reception and enquires about joining the club.

Looking slightly disappoint, the woman at the desk tells Lewis that unfortunately the club has a very old rule which states only white people can become members.

She apologises for the out of date rule but says that it will not be changed for anyone any time soon.

She continues to tell Lewis that there’s another country club about a thirty minute drive down the road, which will take all kinds of people.

Lewis looks angry and say “But I’m Lewis Hamilton!”

To which the woman apologies and says “ten minutes drive then.”

Eminem is the first celebrity to get the Wuhan Virus.

A statement from his manager says that Eminem admitted himself to the emergency department because his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. Doctors say he presented with vomit on his sweater already. Initial testing has revealed it was moms spaghetti. Mathers said that he was “nervous” but photos of the superstar appeared to show that, on the suface, he looks calm and ready.

The other day I decided to buy a Ouija board, so I could get in touch with deceased celebrities that havent crossed over yet,

The only celebrity I could get in touch with was Stephen Hawking.

I asked him a few questions including why he was a ghost and not gone to the after life yet.

Turns out Led Zeppelin was right all along,

there is a stairway to heaven.

At a celebrity party, Stevie Wonder meets golf champ Tiger Woods and mentions that he, too, is an excellent golfer.

Tiger is a bit skeptical that the blind musician can play golf well, but he’s too polite to say anything.

“When I tee off, ” the singer explains, “I have a guy call to me from the green. My sharp sense of hearing lets me aim.”

Tiger is impressed, and Stevie suggests that they play a round. When Tiger agrees, Stevie asks, “How about if we play for $10,000 a hole?” Tiger insists he couldn’t possibly play him for money because of his sight handicap.

But Stevie argues and badgers Tiger until Tiger finally relents. Stevie says, “You pick the place and I’ll pick the time?”

Tiger says, “Fine. Pebble Beach.”

Stevie replies, “Midnight!”

Q: What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?
A: Feyonce

Q: Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky turned Republican?
A: The democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.

Q: What do you call it when Miley Cyrus falls down?
A: Hoe-Down

Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz 2 Men?
A: He thought it was a delivery service.

Q: Why does Hillary want to make love to Bill Clinton first thing in the morning?
A: She wants to be the first lady.

Q: What’s Bill Clinton’s idea of safe sex?
A: When Hillary is out of town.

Q: What did Miley Cyrus eat on Thanksgiving?
A: TWERKY

Q: Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
A: Fo’ Drizzle!

Q: How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm?
A: Look for Fresh Prints!

Q: Why was Stevie Wonder’s wife upset?
A: Because he told her he wanted to see other people.

Q: Why did 50 Cent turn off the TV?
A: The Game was on

Q: What do Barack Obama and Tiger Woods have in common?
A: They’re both trying to screw everybody!

Q: Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky turned Republican?
A: The democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.

Q: What do you call it when Miley Cyrus falls down?
A: Hoe-Down

Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz 2 Men?
A: He thought it was a delivery service.