Why did the chicken cross the road? 

Because the chicken behind it didn’t know how to socially distance properly.

Who’s idea was it to sing “Happy Birthday” while washing your hands?

Now every time I go to the bathroom, my kids expect me to walk out with a cake.

Ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves.

Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.

Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit.

Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

I’m not talking to myself,

I’m having a parent-teacher conference.

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat.

It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog–we laughed a lot.

Pollen still coming out during a global pandemic?

Bitch read the room.

Why do they call it the novel coronavirus?

It’s a long story….

If coronavirus isn’t about beer,

why do I keep seeing cases of it?

Why don’t chefs find coronavirus jokes funny?

They’re in bad taste.