An armed panda bear and a scientist walk into a bar.

The panda orders a sandwich, eats it, shoots the scientist, and walks out of the bar.

The scientist explains while dying: “a panda bear eats chutes and leaves”

What do scary pandas eat?

BamBOO!

Once a panda walked into a restaurant…

…and ordered a hamburger and some fries. The waiter was surprised to see a panda in the bar but served him thinking it to be an intelligent animal as it ordered it’s own food.

The panda finished its food and as it saw the waiter approaching it with the bill, it got up and shot him with a pistol. Fortunately, the wound was not fatal and the waiter lived. As the panda was leaving, the waiter croaked, “Why?”.

The panda stops, turns around and whips out an encyclopedia page about pandas. It was very old and wasn’t properly punctuated. It read, “Pandas: Eats, shoots and leaves.”

Why do pandas make awful boyfriends?

Because he only eats shoots and leaves.

If a local Panda Express was infected by COVID-19…

It would be known as “Pandemic Express”

A panda bear walks into a bar…

A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The panda eats the sandwich, whips out a pistol, and shoots the waiter dead. As he is walking towards the exit, the bartender yells “HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING? YOU DIDNT PAY FOR THAT SANDWICH AND YOU JUST SHOT MY WAITER!”

The panda bear just yells out “I’m a panda bear! Look it up!” and walks out the door.

Confused, the bartender grabs his dictionary and looks up the definition of“panda”:

“A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian orgin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats chutes and leaves.”

Sorry if it’s a repost but this one has always been a favorite of mine so I thought I’d share.

We don’t serve pandas in here…

A panda walked into a restaurant and ordered a meal. After the panda ate, he shot the waiter and left. They called the police and the cop said, “I guess the waiter hadn’t looked up the definition of a panda”. The restaurant owner looked up the definition and it said “panda, an animal that eats shoots and leaves”.

I asked a panda if he was my friend.

He said, “Just bearly”.

So a panda walks into a bar…

He sits down and orders: I’d like one whiskey…….and a coke please

The bartender brings him his drinks and asks:” Here you go, but why the big pause?”

The panda looks down to his hands and says:” I was born with them”

What does a panda use to cook his pancakes?

A pan duhhhh!